After driving hard for just under two hours, Lyz and I, having shaken off the Brave brothers, arrived at the place belonging to the “informant.”

We drove through a maze of complicated roads over and over, then descended underground from a parking lot equipped with futuristic mechanisms that looked like something straight out of Iron Man.

I had been worried that our destination might already be exposed, so I kept an eye out for an ambush, but I did not see anyone suspicious.

We got out of the car and walked down a creepy passage that looked like it belonged in a horror movie. At the end of it stood a single clean-looking door.

Lyz knocked on that door in a peculiar rhythm, then called out to whoever was probably inside.

“Auntie. It’s Lyzvelt. Can you open up?”

In less than ten seconds, the door opened, revealing a room that looked like an ordinary reception room.

Lyz strode right in, and I entered after her while staying a little cautious.

There was no one inside. That door was probably built like an automatic door.

Two sofas sat across from each other with a table between them.

A television stood beside them. Something that looked like an ashtray rested on the table, and aside from a door farther inside, the room was plain and simple.

And yet, it still felt classy. That was probably because the materials were good. I understood as soon as I sat on the sofa. This thing was ridiculously expensive.

“It has been a while, Lyzvelt. Sounds like you went through quite the mess.”

“Long time no see, Auntie. If Gray-chan had not been there, I would have been raped by an ogre and eaten by now.”

What came out of the inner door was... a wooden puppet?

A puppet made from the kind of wood used for drawing mannequins came out carrying tea.

I had expected a normal person to appear. Yeah, this was definitely outside my predictions.

The wooden puppet skillfully placed the cups on the table, then sat down on the sofa without making a sound. Its face was completely blank, so I could not read its expression at all, but judging from the atmosphere around it, it seemed to be welcoming us.

“My bad. I knew the Leftist faction was going to pull something, but they moved before I could grab the details. I put you through trouble, Lyzvelt.”

“I’m alive, so that’s good enough. Here. This is the data on the assassination plan targeting the FR President and legislators, plus the data on the Second Alice Plan.”

“Oh, that helps. Personally, I like the current president. If he dies, it will cause a lot of problems, and more than anything, I cannot stand those Leftist bastards. Those colonists. It is the twenty-fourth century. Why are they still talking like it is the nineteenth century? There is a limit to how badly someone can fall behind the times, is there not?”

Huh. So the Leftist faction in FR were colonists. I had assumed they were commies.

In my time, when people said “left-wing” in most countries, it usually meant communists or socialists, after all. Well, that was prejudice talking.

“So, Lyzvelt.”

After venting about the Leftist faction, the wooden puppet looked at me. Well, it had no eyes, so I was not sure if it was actually looking, but it slumped its shoulders and let out a huge sigh.

“You brought quite the flimsy-looking man with you. I am disappointed. Could you not have brought someone more handsome, someone who looks like he can protect you, Lyzvelt—”

Bang!! Crack!!

Before the wooden puppet could finish speaking, the table split clean in two.

I had no idea what had happened, but judging from the smoke-like stuff rising from Lyz’s foot, she had probably slammed an axe kick into the table in front of us.

I was so shocked that my face went completely blank.

Amazing. When people get too surprised, they really cannot react at all.

“Auntie. Say something like that again, and I will kill you.”

Lyz’s voice was clear and dignified. But it was also very obviously packed with killing intent.

The room’s atmosphere turned foul in an instant. It became hard to breathe, and somehow, this felt more terrifying than the mutant ogre we had run into inside that dungeon.

The wooden puppet stayed silent for a short while, but then it suddenly clapped its hands and burst into loud laughter.

“Ahahahaha!! To think that Lyzvelt would go that far. Looks like she is rather fond of you, is she not? Right, pretty boy?”

“I’m Gray. Nice to meet you... Informant-san?”

“They call me the Wooden Puppet Informant. You can call me Auntie too, same as Lyzvelt does. So, you and your companions saved Lyzvelt, did you?”

“......”

...Companions, huh. This informant was talking while already knowing everything, wasn’t she?

I did not know whether she knew my name or Rubelt’s name, but at the very least, she seemed to know that two people had sheltered Lyz.

Only one day had passed, yet her information-gathering ability was already this insane.

On the other hand, that also showed just how capable the Alice Organization was, since even she had failed to get any information beforehand.

When I stayed silent, the informant stood up and started returning to the inner room. Had she realized I did not want to talk about it?

“Well, let us talk later. I will send this information first, so relax for a while. The television works, so watch whatever program you like.”

“Oh, can you make another pot of black tea? Lyz ruined all of it.”

“Sorry, Gray-chan. I just lost it because she insulted you...”

“Don’t worry about it. The one at fault is that blockhead.”

“What a harsh way to put it. Though I am the one at fault.”

I looked away from the informant as she disappeared behind the door, turned on the television, and put on some random show.

I did not know anything about foreign dramas, so maybe I should just put on a variety show.

“Are we going to have to pay for this table?”

“It’s fine. Auntie is nice to me.”

“She is?”

“Yeah. Apparently, I look like her dead daughter.”

That was a pretty hard thing to respond to.

So Lyz looked like her dead daughter. Was that also the reason Rubelt had taken my side?

Risking his life for a kid he had only known for three days was not something people could usually do. He must have had his own reason for it, but there was no way for me to know that anymore.

“We have to hide for a while, huh... What kind of damn world did they reincarnate me into?”

“Sorry for the wait. Here is the tea.”

I muttered so softly that even Lyz could not hear it. At the same time, the informant came back with fresh black tea.

There was no table left to put it on, so I took it directly and slowly sipped the tea.

Huh? Was slurping considered bad manners overseas? ...Well, whatever. This was not some fancy restaurant, so I probably did not need to worry that much.

Right after I thought that, the television program switched, and an emergency bulletin began playing.

two-hundred-kilometer radius vanished without a trace. Based on the magic power released at the moment of the dungeon’s collapse, the government has officially identified ‘Gray’ as the primary suspect and placed him on the international wanted list—”

“Pffffft—!! Cough! Cough!!”

I instantly sprayed the black tea in my mouth all over the place.

The face on the screen was unmistakably mine.

My thoughts completely locked up for a few seconds before my half-dead brain finally started forcing itself to process what the hell I was hearing.

Alright, first of all, they were saying I cleared a dungeon.

Then apparently everything within a two-hundred-kilometer radius around Marseille got erased afterward?

What the hell was this idiot even talking about?

I had never cleared a dungeon in the first place, and I sure as hell did not remember wiping an entire area off the map.

None of this made any damn sense.

“Ahahahahaha!! Not bad at all!! As expected of the man Lyzvelt chose!! You really do things on a different scale!!”

“As expected of you, Gray-chan!! You did something while we were escaping, didn’t you?!”

While I sat there confused, the informant came back and laughed her head off, and Lyz interpreted everything I did in the most positive way possible.

Hey, hold on. I just spat out my tea, right? You saw that reaction and somehow think this was something I did on purpose?

No, I guess they reacted like that because they really could think so.

“Look!! They even issued a Special International Wanted notice!! Amazing, is it not?! The bounty is two hundred million gold!! Dangerous people from all over the world will be coming after you!!”

“That’s amazing, Gray-chan!! You’re a two-hundred-million man!!”

“...Ha, hahaha. Yeah.”

In stark contrast to the two of them, who looked like they were having a great time, all I could do was let out a dry laugh. What the hell was I supposed to do now? This was not the time to be talking about clearing the Five Great Dungeons.

The story was developing way too suddenly. I could not keep up.

Why had I become an international wanted criminal when I had just been acting normally?

***

God 1: This makes so little sense I’m dying.

God 2: What does?

God 3: What does?

God 4: Recently, there was this guy who got reincarnated into a world with a modern fantasy setting. On his third day after reincarnating, he got internationally wanted, and on top of that, they slapped a massive bounty of two hundred million gold on him.

God 5: That kind of thing has happened before, right? Like the guy who reincarnated as a thrill-killer and murdered royalty on day one. That bastard got hanged immediately, though.

God 6: No, no, not like that. This reincarnated Gray-kun is just a normal civilian. He’s just insanely good at using toys.

God 7:
6
You talking about Gray-kun? That poor but hilarious kid who got thrown into that hopeless mess?

God 8:
7
Yeah, him. The strongest reincarnator who somehow wiped out tens of millions of people on his third day.

God 9: I haven’t watched it. Explain.

God 10: The setting is basically Earth, except dungeons connected to another world started appearing in 1972. Parallel-world Earth, more or less. Gray-kun gets reincarnated there around five hundred years later. Following so far?

God 11: Yep.

God 12: Got it.

God 13: So that kind of world existed, huh. Alright.

God 14: Then God tells Gray-kun to clear the “Five Great Dungeons,” which are supposedly impossible to conquer. Obviously, we gods can’t interfere with reincarnators anyway, so he could’ve just ignored it and enjoyed life. But Gray-kun doesn’t know that, so he seriously starts trying to clear them because he thinks divine punishment will happen if he doesn’t entertain the gods.

God 15: We’ve had misunderstandings like that before. Honestly, it’s convenient. They work harder to entertain us.

God 16: We’re bored out of our minds all the time anyway.

God 17: Seriously. All we do is watch. The only entertainment we have is games and manga.

God 18:
17
Are you guys literally NEETs?

God 19:
18
Absolutely. There’s no easier job than being a god.

God 20: Lmao.

God 21: Anyway, a guy named Rubelt who lives next door teaches Gray-kun basic dungeon stuff, but on the second day, things go sideways. A hidden passage appears. Those things only show up when specific conditions are met. Hidden passages can contain treasure, but the monsters inside are way stronger, so normally you report them to the Hunter Association. Going solo is basically suicide.
But Gray-kun goes in thinking, “God’s watching, so I should entertain him.”

God 22: Peak dumbass behavior born from ignorance. Then what?

God 23: That’s where he meets a girl. Lyzvelt Grinia. And holy shit, this girl is absurdly cute. Anyway, she’s injured, so kindhearted Gray-kun uses a healing potion on her. After she recovers enough to walk, he helps her escape the dungeon.
Then a mutant ogre shows up. Way stronger than a normal ogre. And then the world’s worst game of tag begins.

God 24: That happens all the time. I don’t know if it’s protagonist correction or what, but reincarnators always end up saving girls.

God 25: I remember some god actually researching protagonist correction once. Pretty sure they published a paper called “The Probability That a Girl Saved Under Protagonist Correction Is Beautiful or Cute.”

God 26:
25
That’s so stupid it loops back around into being funny. Was the guy writing that running on 2 AM brain rot?

God 27:
26
No clue. I read it once. Complete waste of time.

God 28: Anyway, after a bunch of stuff happens, Gray-kun and Lyzvelt-chan escape. But she’s carrying trouble with her, so they decide to flee overnight. Even Rubelt gets dragged into it.

God 29: What kind of trouble?

God 30: Apparently she belongs to some dangerous organization called the “Alice Organization,” and she got caught in an internal conflict. We don’t know the details because Gray-kun wasn’t listening.

God 31: We can only watch from the reincarnator’s perspective, remember? If the idiot himself doesn’t listen, we don’t get the information either.

God 32: They were saying stuff that sounded insanely important too. I was yelling at the screen like, “LISTEN, DAMN IT!!”

God 33: Average reincarnator-viewer experience.

God 34: If you want details or theories, just watch it yourself. Only three days have passed in-story, so catching up is easy.

God 35: I just watched it. The ending made zero sense, lmao.

God 36:
35
Right? Hold on, I’m getting to that part.

God 37:
36
Got it.

God 38: So while they’re escaping overnight, pursuers from the Alice Organization catch up. Rubelt-san dies there.

God 39: Wait, he dies?!

God 40: Yeah. Straight-up dies. But damn, he was cool.

God 41: He was insanely cool. “I’ll fuck you up” gave me chills.

God 42: Using Rubelt’s sacrifice, Gray-kun and Lyzvelt-chan barely escape. They hand information about the Alice Organization to an informant, and the issue gets wrapped up.
Then one-quarter of FR gets blown off the map and Gray-kun becomes internationally wanted. Hooray! Two-hundred-million bounty!!

God 43: ????????

God 44: ????????

God 45: ????????

God 46: ????????

God 47: More specifically, Gray-kun cleared the dungeon, and a two-hundred-kilometer radius centered around Marseille vanished.

God 48:
47
THAT MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN “VANISHED”?!

God 49: I seriously don’t know. In that world, once the boss is defeated, the dungeon stays open until the person who beat it leaves.
But Gray-kun never defeated any boss in the first place. And more importantly, he’d already left the dungeon before FR got blown away.

God 50: This is complete nonsense, lmao. I’m watching it.

God 51: Same.

God 52:
50, 51
Have fun.

God 53: Forget the explosion. The definition of “toy” makes no sense too. Why can’t he materialize cars, but flour and oil count as toys?

God 54: Maybe because he thought of them as toys when he was a kid? His ability was called “Old Nostalgic Toy Box,” right? It lets him materialize toys he played with before graduating elementary school. So if he once considered something a toy, it counts.

God 55: That definition is absurdly loose. So cars got classified as vehicles instead of toys. Even if he played in them, he never personally thought of them as toys.

God 56: Probably.

God 57: I got curious and watched it. Gray-kun is actually ridiculously good at using toys.

God 58:
57
Seriously. The horror setup during the ogre fight was impressive. You’d never think he was improvising on the spot.

God 59: That scene was genuinely terrifying. You can tell he grew up on Japanese horror movies. Those films know how to drill psychological fear straight into your brain.

God 60: Western horror leans more into gore and jump scares, but Japanese horror mentally destroys you. No wonder those brothers got traumatized.

God 61: Were they really that shaken?

God 62:
61
Absolutely. Gray-kun successfully stalled them, didn’t he? That counts as a win.

God 63: Just got here. Someone give me a three-line summary.

God 64:
63
Interesting reincarnator appears.
People hear his story.
The story makes so little sense everyone goes to watch it themselves.

God 65: “Interesting reincarnator” is vague as hell. Also, what do you mean “makes no sense”?

God 66:
65
Ultra-simplified version:
Reincarnated!! Time to clear dungeons!!
Finds collapsed girl in dungeon!! Saves her!!
Girl has dangerous secrets!! They run away together!!
One companion dies, they barely escape, then one-quarter of FR gets deleted and Gray-kun gets internationally wanted with a two-hundred-million bounty!!

God 67: ????????

God 68: The fourth line is killing me because technically none of that is inaccurate.

God 69: Yeah, that reaction is completely understandable, lol.

God 70: I’m gonna watch it.

God 71:
70
Have fun.

God 72: This part killed me too.
Gray-kun: “I don’t want to burn the forest.”
Lyzvelt-chan: “Gray-chan, you’re so smart!!”
Fray: “WHY THE HELL AM I NOT ALLOWED TO ATTACK?!”
That whole thing felt like a comedy skit.

God 73: The logic was dumb but weirdly convincing. He’s lucky.

God 74: Luck’s part of skill and all that. Though honestly, Gray-kun’s bad luck feels overwhelmingly strong.

God 75: The guy himself was acting completely normal too. He lost someone important, so I actually feel kinda bad for him.

God 76: I might keep watching Gray-kun from now on. Feels like he’s guaranteed to accidentally screw something up every single time.

God 77: The funniest part is that he probably causes disasters without even realizing it.

God 78: What’s he gonna screw up next?

God 79:
78
The fact everyone’s already assuming he’ll screw something up is hilarious.

Chapter 14: I Don’t Get It